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Wrestling results 6/11/09-6/12/09

WWE Smackdown 6/12/09 QnD results

NICKY, oops, Dolph Ziggler defeated The Great Khali via countout at 3:04. The Zigg is looking more and more like a star. JR: “and why is Khali great?!” XD!

“Phenomenal” Michelle McUncool & Layla defeated Melina & Eve Torres after McCool pinned Melina with the Faith Breaker at 3:00. SmackDown womens division is the most boring thing about the WWE right now with McCool being booked like she’s Goldberg, despite her sloppy moves and I STILL don’t buy Melina as a face at all, Eve is…well, Eve is fine as hell but she’s not that great of a wrestler.  Anyways, McCool is using the Styles Clash now (a poorly executed one at that) and wasn’t she using the Angels Wing’s too? Wannabe biatch. It’s like she watches TNA to steal finishers. Oh well…at least they didn’t book Melina weak. I was afraid McCool was going to beat her cleanly and with no interference whatsoever.

John Morrison w/ yummy abs & R-Truth defeated Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas after Morrison pinned Haas with the Starship Pain at 9:51. One of the production guys just fell asleep on the JoMo slow-mo button here; I couldn’t even tell if Morrison’s entrance was slowed down like usual or if it was just the crappy feed, but it looked horrible. Anyhoo, John hits THE PELE~! THE PELE COMES OUT OF NOWHERE EVERYTIME MIKE!!! AAAHHHH!!! Anyways, Starship Pain is an odd move name. I’m thinking Morrison is going to the Pete Wentz School of Naming Things. Speaking of which, Haas positions himself for the SP better than anyone else so far. It actually looked like he’s taking the impact of the move.

World champion CM Punk defeated Chris Jericho with the GTS at 13:55. So, Punk got to deliver an opening promo and win clean against a top heel? Already this is better than his Raw title reign. Anyways, JR was really fellating Punk about his MitB cashing in. Didn’t he get all bitchy at Edge for doing the same thing to Cena? Man, JR is a hypocrite. I also liked how Jericho’s tights match the mask he’s holding and happy to see Jericho got in his requisite weekly “Ask him! Ask him, ref!”. Anyways, meh match, but it’s cool Punk won.

Edge defeated Jeff Hardy by DQ when CM Punk interfered at 22:05. Damn that was a long main event. NICE! And Hardy can really take the G2S. He may be the best one to take it since Morrison. Oh, and it seems like they’re putting the slow burn on the Punk heel turn. Michael Hayes is a genius.

AWESOME FRIGGIN’ SMACKDOWN! Take notes, RAW. THIS is how you book a World Champion not named Batista, Triple H, Randy Orton, or John Cena.

TNA Impact 6/11/09 QnD results

Alex Shelley & Jay Lethal beat Team 3D in 7:40 after Doug Williams hit Devon from behind with the briefcase. Lethal’s attire was awesome and that was the best match on Impact that I’ve seen in awhile.

Samoa Joe defeated Scott Steiner & Booker T in a Nation of Violence first blood match in 11:50 after Joe nailed Booker in the gut with a pipe, which caused internal bleeding. Joe kinda looks like Curly from the Stooges now. And if this was a No-DQ why didn’t Angle, Nash and Sting come down? And why didnt Joe use his knife?

AJ Styles made Shane Douglas tapout with a armbar in 5:10. Douglas’ arms are TWO different colors. And I’ve heard of phoning it in, but Shane was like mailing a postcard in. Douglas is so fat he can’t even take off his shirt anymore. AJ winning and thats the way uh-huh uh-huh I like it. Shane and Joe should feud over who took the last cupcake from catering. If Shane hit you with the belly to belly now it would be career ending…look a the size of his belly. Oh, and the first question Lauren should have given was “what was it like working at target?”.

Tara beat Madison Rayne in 4:15 with the Widow’s Peak. So the term widows peak isn’t copyrighted then? And she needs a different name than Tara that’s to generic.

Kurt Angle pinned Sting in a King of Mountain qualifier in 16:55 after the Angle Slam. This match was brought to you by smooth, tasty, and invigorating STACKER 2 6 HOUR POWER! Meh match. The Thursday Night War goes to WWE Superstars in my opinion and Jericho/Morrison>Sting/Angle.

7 YEARS LATER AND WE STILL CAN’T COMPETE WITH WWE! Cross The Line.

WWE Superstars 6/11/09 QnD results

Beth Phoenix & Rosa Mendes beat Nikki & Brie Bella after Beth pinned Nikki with the Implant Driver. The Bella’s are so useless.

Evan Bourne pinned Zach Ryder with the Shooting Star Press. Ryder sold that SSP awesomely. And Ryder’s music=epic win. Ryder is impressing me with how charismatic he is. He’s really doing his best to get himself over. Oh, and Evan’s scream is not intimidating. Anyways, this was a solid match and shows why Superstars is an awesome show.

WWE Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho beat John Morrison with a rollup. Smackdown is maineventing because Raw is about as exciting as paint drying right now. And isn’t this like the fifth time Morrison has ME’d Superstars? Sometimes I think Morrison is the only reason I’m still watching the WWE; he might be the most naturally gifted guy on that roster. Anyways, this was a great match and Morrison looked good because he got cheated. Also another damn good edition of Superstars.

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